Being Married “So Young”

Photo Created By: Garret Daniel Photography

“You’re only 21 and you’re already married?!”

-Everyone who is apparently stunned that I am married at 21

Yes, yes I am. There are many times I get that reaction from people. Some people don’t think it’s odd at all, that it’s the most normal thing. But, others – well, they like to let me know they think it’s crazy for me to be married “so young.”

One of our first pictures. We have changed oh so much.

Justin and I have been dating since my junior year of high school. He was a year younger than me in school, so he was only a sophomore. We didn’t really know much about each other prior to becoming a couple, which was odd considering our whole high school was only about four hundred kids and I felt like everyone knew everybody. We didn’t meet and become friends until we were placed in a PE class together. For some reason or another I was placed in PE for a whole year which meant two semester of PE. Not normal. Justin was placed in my first semester of PE and later on in the semester let me know he would have the same PE class with me for next semester too. I thought that was very odd considering having a whole year of PE was not the norm. Later in our relationship I found out he begged the guidance counselor to let him have PE all year just so he could have more time with me. Who knows if that story is true, but its a cheesy romantic thing he loves to say. We started dating that next semester of PE.

We said I love you and meant it after 2.5 months of dating. It was honestly so crazy how much it all just made sense with my heart and my head to be with him. Yes, I was eighteen when I first loved him. Yes, that is young. Yes, you can still really love someone that young Karen.

We didn’t always have an easy dating relationship, but who does? Who doesn’t have struggles and arguments?

I went to college and he was still finishing high school. Then, I moved away for a new college south east and he graduated and moved to a new college north west to play football. We never talked about splitting up for our difference in living because we always knew if it was going to work between us we would make the distance work. There were times we thought maybe we couldn’t do it, but we would always fight for us. Heck there were times in high school when we thought we couldn’t do it, but one thing was always consistent and that was we always knew we loved each other and were in love and that’s always what it came down to.

I think we broke up once in high school and twice in college. Now here chimes in the judgmental people going, “And now you’re married?” Yes, we are. We took breaks and plenty of them. We got frustrated, jealous, lazy, and dumb. It’s what happens. And let me tell ya, I don’t think that was because we are “so young.” It’s because we were growing and learning which happens all your life. Finally, on our last “break up” in college when we were both just frustrated and thought maybe the distance was too much for us, something changed. Reality kind of hit us both, I think. We both realized why are we “breaking up” with each other when we’ll end up with each other. We were almost like playing games. So, after much needed communication and increase in effort on both our parts of the relationship – we got back together. Then, engaged seven months later.

“So it’s not gonna be easy. It’s going to be really hard; we’re gonna have to work at this everyday, but I want to do that because I want you. I want all of you, forever, everyday. You and me… everyday.” 

-Nicholas Sparks in The Notebook

I graduated and he moved and transferred colleges. We were back in a thirty minute travel to each other compared to a three hour. (I’ll never regret my three hour drives to him – 1. Because I loved seeing him and 2. I finished the whole Harry Potter Series on audio book through those trips) We spent that summer really focusing on the new chapter in our lives. We were back close to each other and enjoying lots more time together. It was different then it had ever been, we both had a chance to grow up separately while being long distance, but always having each other to lean on and grow up together over technology and our short trips to each other.

We were both in our pajamas for the proposal. Honestly, so fitting for us.

When Justin proposed, I was very surprised. I was surprised because I didn’t know I was going to be married “this young.” Justin and I knew each other were “the one.” There was never a moment for me when I knew he was the one, I guess I had always known. But, we had never really talked about a time frame of when to make it official. He was ready and I was too, so we did it. Nine months later and we got married.

Disclaimer: No, we haven’t gone through all the ups and downs yet. No, it’s not easy. He still is attending college classes full time. I am working full time. We have two pets. He coaches part-time. We are crazy busy and tight on money. But, we make it work. We constantly fight for us.

So, yes Karen I am 21 and married to the love of my life ~judge me~. I am so happy in the three short months we’ve been married the growth we’ve had in our relationship and ourselves as people. We still struggle with new things now – careers, financials, family plans etc. Although I’m sure there are many more struggles and bumps ahead we will get through them if we are constantly fighting for us and a life focusing on Jesus which has seemed to work this far. There is no age limit on marriage, so hey cheers to me being 21, married, and happy.

Photo Created By: Garret Daniel Photography
Photo Created By: Garret Daniel Photography

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